Youko-sama

felt like posting here because i write too many notes on facebook!!

weekly plans.

monday sept, 7th - labour day (at andy's, home)
tuesday september 8th - back to school, work 330-715
wednesday september 9th - work 330-715
thursday september 10th - dinner with buddies @ hoya, meet the dragon.
friday september 11th - one month anniversary w/andy.
saturday september 12th - work 1-5, movies/drinking with angela and candace.
sunday september 13th - work 10-315, VMAs.
monday september 14th - the resistance comes out. :D

it's been forever.
D:
I'm sorry.
I am back to sell some stuff, wish me luck!

love yooou!
♥

why did today have to suck so much?
I feel so left out in my own family.
why can't people understand that?
i live with my mom and my older sister, megan.
i started working more often this summer.
and all the time i hear about megan and mom doing things.
like how they go shopping, go out for dinner, go to the mandarin, go out for ice cream.
would it kill them to include me?
i'm a part of this family too.
:(
it's so dumb.
i just hate being ignored.
i hate being left out.
and my mom says it's because i'm always not home when they do things.
but when i am home, we don't do anything.
do you know how that feels?
fuck.
i am crying now.
and there's been like 3 thunderstorms today alone.
sometimes i just wish for a natural disaster just to see how many people would actually care.

i hate feeling like this.

heyyy LJ
I am just waiting for the new episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager to be posted online
I really love that show♥
But they don't air it in Canada :(
I can not wait for it.

On another note, I love listening to songs I used to be obsessed with.
It really surprises me how many songs I know even months after listening to them.
I remember lyrics easily =]

tonight I had the weirdest urge to go to the movies, but I didn't!
I just stayed at home and played video games XD

I had such interesting meals today,
for lunch I made octopus hotdogs and rice, I had like a bento thing =)
and for dinner, I had these delicious honey garlic chicken wraps. mmm
they were so delicious.

then me and my sister and her boyfriend watched "I survived a Japanese Gameshow" after playing rockband ♥

in recent news, I am going to Toronto on Thursday♥♥♥
I am going to Chinatown Center (for KikiWai)
as well as Pacific Mall! ♥
I hope to get some more cute things that I don't need, heh.
Also, I got a haircut!
My hair is nice and short now, so much better for the summer.

Pictures

It's sort of late I guess XD
I'm in my bedroom watching TV.
Boy Meets World reruns =)
Hahah
Oh man, working so much this week,
tomorrow is like my only day off.
I am sleepy XD

Okay short entry.
I'll post more later
ilulj

Helllo LJ~
I told you'd I post more, right?
I am super excited right now.
Not only do I have three days off, but I have great plans for them!
I' playing Hide and Seek tomorrow night, yay childishness!
I have a bunch of friends going to come too.
I am excited!
and then on Sunday, I am going to Wonderland!
my third time this year :) ♥
I love wonderland!
Now, finally going to post a picture of myself~
on LJ xD

Too long, if you ask me!

SO much has happened in the past few weeks,
I finished grade 11!
ON TO MY SENIOR YEAR, YAY.
And I started watching Code Geass!

It's really great, check it out.

I promise to be more active on LJ, really!
♥Aino

I don't know what to say really..
Sure, my head is filled with stuff./
But I fear of posting everything, fear of being too "emo".
Geez, I am quite emo on my LJ, eh?
And the sad thing is I mean everything, but I just have to laugh it off in public when people ask.
Right now, there's a huge storm here.
there's already over 15cm of snow here... Thats about... 6 inches.
We're just going to get more.
There was no school today and I'm a little upset.
I wanted to start second semester...
I was supposed to go shopping for my Christmas present (a month late) from my...
well I don't even know what to call her anymore.
I talk about her behind her back so much.
I don't even think I can call her a friend.
I still got her a Christmas present...
We were supposed to go two weeks ago, but she broke her nose.
Today she told her sister it was too snowy to go.
I'm not even deserving enough of a call.
I was really looking forward to it and she doesn't even respect me enough to give me a call.
I'm just not worth it I guess.
I can't even describe how I feel right now..
Just dark and cloudy I guess.
Kind of how the sky appears right now.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Ugh.
Anyways brighter news/
I've been watching more jdramas as of late.
HanaKimi (I bought the DVD set <3) and Hana Yori Dango.
...(Oguri Shun~~<3)
Thus where my recommendation of PLANETARIUM BY OTSUKA AI comes in.
dfskjsfjdfanhgfdkl
I love this song.
It makes me sad and happy at the same time.
Please listen to it if you get a chance~!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=HyhAuybWW9Q

I'm just going to go wallow in myself and watch Hana Yori Dango~
Until next time!

Ugh
Well
I feel crappy again.
Today was really fun
I went out with some friends, we went shopping shortly and then to the movies.
A little rushed but otherwise great.
There was a slight mishap but that's not why I feel crappy.
Ugh
Just
I hate it when everything gets all messed up.
Lots of angst and teenage drama.
But really
I need to accept my role
As forever being the friend.
At least until I lose weight
because you know, guys my age can't like fat girls.
No.
Appearance is everything.
Don't say it's not.
Because everyone knows it is.
Everyone nitpicks at people.
Even I do
when I am no better then some of them.

It's all bullshit.

UGH
I feel so craptastic right now.
Night LJ
Sorry for another emo post.

Edit:
And also.
Two more people I am not speaking to.
Wow, I'm getting quite the list.
Shit.
And haha
I love it when people talk about me behind my back.
Here's to you, Kave =]

Feeling better I guess.
Maybe I should tell you the backstory to that last entry...
I have this... friend.
He's not really a friend, so I don't know why I call him that.
I say this because of the way he treats me.
Like I'm stupid and I know nothing.
That's how he treats me.
He makes me feel like I have no reason to live.
And that's basically what happened.

I made another mistake.
And he told countless people.
Being a friend,  I trusted him.
That was my biggest mistake.
He backstabbed me.
He lied to me.
He got the only people that would listen to me
And understand me
to hate me.

So I thought about it...
I needed to make him feel bad.
As bad as I did.
So I told him...
I was going to end my life.
Why?
I actually wanted to...
and
I wanted to see if he actually felt anything.
If I could trust him again.
Why did I care so much?

So I lead him to feel just as bad as I did.
I manipulated his mind...
Just to get him to understand how I felt.
How he made me feel.

And I'm glad I did it.

I'm sorry to everyone I've hurt.
And to all the people I've disappointed.
Sadly, that's me.
I love you guys, I really do.
I love anyone who will let me.
And I appreciate you guys, for reading this.
And whatever else.
Anything... for talking to me, for adding me.

Because in my mind, I know I don't deserve it.
I'm a bad person.
With great people around her

Hopefully you'll all rub off on me soon...

-Youko.

It's heading towards 3am on Sunday morning.
I don't know why I'm still awake.

I don't even know what I feel right now.
I just know I messed up.
And I can't go back... ever.
I'm sorry to anyone that I've hurt...


Things will never be the same..

Hey LJ~
...
Uh
wow.
Tonight was very confusing <D
Great start to November.
...
Let's just say.
I'm really confused
but really happy at the same time
<D
I'll post more about it later, it's late.
ilulj<3

My journal is slowly dying D:
SO I'll post to keep it up :]

Today was actually really great.
I slept in and missed two classes;; boo D:
But the other two were great.
I went out after school, and decided on my cosplay for the AN dance.
So I went costume shopping.
I'm being Rakka from Hanibe Renmei
...
I don't even know if I spelled that right XD;
Sad eh?

Oh well.
I went out with Josh and Krystine, we had a really fun time.
Got a new DS game and blah

Then I came home ahaha.
I lost my Mod position at HHK, oh well. D;
I was telling one of my friends earlier I wanted to quit too.
Funny how those things work out.
I'm sorry to those I let down and such but...
I chose a friend over my job and now I'm paying for it.
I don't know if I regret it, surely I do because it's cause a lot more drama then I expect but meh...
Life will carry on,. someone else will slip up and I'll stop being the punchline to jokes.

I'll just have to stick with my real friends until this all blows over I guess.
:]

Life will carry on and so will I...

Until next time I suppose~
-Saino~

Well HHK is officially dead.
Well now we have the New HHK.
Which makes me sorta happy for lame reasons.
Mainly, the tyrant of an owner, Haru is gone.
SO that makes me very happy.
HHK will be okay.
I know it because the people on it right now are awesome.
:]
And the new owner... She's just... ♥

Incase the HHK members on my LJ were wondering, the new HHK URL is
http://z3.invisionfree.com/HHK_Forums/index.php?act=idx
Please join and spread it around to all the old members!

So yes.
The first week of school has finished.
Now I'm well into my second week.
I'd say that but, I slept for two periods today.
>:

I had to go to Yearbook today, I just had to.
To prove my sister wrong.
I mean, it's at 7:30am and I can't wake up that early for anything.
I'm so lazy ;w;

So anyways, I made it to Yearbook and through the first two classes.
And then I got this like sharp pain in my stomach somewhere during the two.
So I called my mom and I left.
 And I rad Deathly Hallows and passed out.
My sister woke me up at 4 and told me to get up and blah..

Getting to the point of this post I'll tell you.
Last night I got in this huge argument with two of my friends over another friend.
It was horrible to hear what they really though.
But I had to leave and they solved things.
Pretty much thy were blaming me.
It sucked.
And It really hurt man.
>:
But now everything is okay.
Back to normal you could say.
But I'm still a little angry.

I don't kow if I want things back to normal...
Ehh we'll see how the rest of the week goes.

~Youko

To all Members of HHK.
Please look here:
http://www.freewebs.com/shewantslemonadewellgiveherlemonade/

<33

RIP HHK Sept. 2/07
>:

I'm amazingly bored.
It's about... 1:30am on August 30th!
And I should be randomly chatting with people now...
But summer is over!
SCHOOL HAS EATEN MY FRIENDS.
Darn...
I miss them all ;w;
Now we can only talk during the day...
But Today I was working all day!
It's not fair... *emo*
XD;
I really just... wish summer could be longer.
So I can talk to the friends I don't know form school more...
I'm going to miss them...
And I hope they still come on, even with school.
Oh geez...
*tearing up*
So yes...
I need to treasure the last few precious hours and conversations I have with them.
Summer before my final year in high school is only so far away!
Mind you, I need to go back to school shopping... >_>
Alright!
Going to bed now... Work in the morning ;w;
~youko

Ahhh, it's so late.... Or early I should say.
I haven't been to sleep yet,
actually a friend I was talking to when I first signed on MSN, just signed in after his sleep.
It's sad really, I start school in ten days and I'm sitll staying up this later.
It's almost 6:30am...
Ahhh I really should be going to sleep earlier, I just... lose track of time.
And I'm really doing nothing online...
My sister asked me what I can do online for so long.
Sometimes I wonder, but.... My sister doesn't go on forums or anything so...
It explains a lot.

Recently, I started a sort of radio-station thing.
Me and two of my good guy friends started it for the forum we go on.
All was going well, we had a small fanbase and a few regular listeners.
We shared the time, taking 5 song slots and switching.
We used to always talk on SKype and such, so we were okay...
But then....
I kinda got a crush on one of the guys, and told him.
So now he won't talk to me because he thinks I'll fall in love with him.
Or something, he's really a jerk.
I don't even understand why I like him.
XD;
But I'll get over it...
And I was actually asked to do the radio station again tonight, I felt happy that people actually liked it.
So I will be doing it again, for sure. Even if it's just me and the other guy.

Oooh some other news.
I applied for a summer abroad program for next summer.
I hope I get accepted, it'll be such an experience ♥♥♥

And I got banned at the Kave, if you don't know what that is, don't ask...
Long story really..
And I have a reason but...
We'll leave that for next time, eh?
:]

~youko

Well... the rain seemed to have stopped.
I thought it was going to be a nice day, the sun was bright at 6 when I finally crawled into bed.
Although it's summer, I really shouldn't be staying up so late...
It'll screw with my sleep cycles >.<;;
But I was forced out of bed at 12, when my mom told me my dad needed me.
My dad works like... everyday and his coworker sometimes doesn't show up.
That's where I come in... See I don't have a job, so I have spare time.
Spare time to listen to Jpop and watch anime XD
But anyways, when I work with my dad, it's usually only for a few hours and I earn about 20-50 dollars in one sitting.
Its a good job so I have some spending money.
 I need some spending money saved up so that I can buy my cosplay costume.
I don't want to buy it too early, in case I grow... But I want it before Halloween so I can cosplay at school.
Olol.
That will be fun!
But yes... As this rainy day carries on, I'll be sitting here, making icons or.... watching the rain.
I love rain :]

Well hello there.
I'm just making a post to see how it works XD
I will be tinkering with LJ for the next few days.
-Youko~